Pink Ranger Tab

Raising Your Daughter for Ranger School

Right now, two women are enduring the last week of the United States Army Ranger School in the daunting Florida “jungle” phase, as part of a pilot program to help the Pentagon decide how they might open combat specialty positions to women in the future. Throughout their attendance at the course,... 
Boomshakalaka

7 Old Video Game Exclamations You Can Still Use in Parenthood

Back when it was a totally dope diss to say “don’t have a cow, man”, kids had a vocabulary full of pop culture. There was something magical about old video games’ vocal snippets. Because games had limited memory, and because we were dealing with cartridges and CDs instead of... 
NES Controller

Old School NES Games That Prepared Me for Fatherhood

Fathers pull their inspiration from weird places. Some of them pull it out of their own father’s teachings. Some of them pull it out of necessity and learn on the fly. But what indisputably prepares you for fatherhood the most is video games. Old NES games, specifically. Look, that console had two... 
10 Discontinued Snacks

10 Discontinued Junk Foods That My Son Will Never Get the Chance to Eat

Some things are too good (or too bad) to keep around forever. This is especially true in the world of junk food, where brands constantly crank out products based on market trends and flimsy pop culture references. My son will never eat some of the junk food I had when I was younger. I certainly won’t... 
25 Reasons

25 Reasons Kids Should Be Left Alone With Their Dads

Making fun of dads because they are “pretty much just giant children” is soooooooo 2011. Maybe y’all ain’t heard, but dads are getting all sorts of respect lately – not because they’re doing anything different, but because – ugh – who didn’t want... 
Latest Stories

Most of the time, we B.S. here on 8BitDad, and talk about daily news for fathers, or let you know about some father that’s done something good or bad. Well, this one’s important.

And before we even cover this, I’ll tell you right now – the rest of this man’s blog is incredibly NSFW. As in, click the sauce below, but do not go roaming around his site.

So – “this man” as I’m calling him, since I can’t find his name anywhere, tells a story on his website called “Damage” – and if you haven’t yet been tipped off by the title, the theme is abuse.

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Opponents of Massachusetts’ “Chapter 209A” law, including the Fatherhood Coalition are crossing their “t”s and dotting their lowercase “j”s. Chapter 209A is referred to as “the restraining order law,” and according to Joseph Ureneck of the Fatherhood Coalition, unduly removes fathers from their families.

“The way that the law is written now, all that a person has to do is say, ‘I’m afraid of this person and I also don’t want this person to see our children,’ and they just check off a box,” Ureneck said. “Many times there is no allegation that the father has done anything untoward to the children. It’s a horrible law in terms of breaking up families.”

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Zombie vs Baby

Filed under “New to us,” I saw this infographic last week about Zombies versus babies. From HowToBeADad.com, these guys have some funny insights about parenthood – and have humorous infographics like this to break up the personal stories about wives and kids.

Click on the image above or link below to see the whole infographic!

How To Be a Dad

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Shem Davies is 29, unemployed and overjoyed. He and his 30 year old ex-girlfriend Kelly John just celebrated the birth of their granddaughter.

Their daughter Tia gave birth last month at 14 years old. The father, Jordan Williams is also 15. The new baby, Gracie, was delivered via Caesarean section at only 2lbs after Tia battled pre-eclampsia, and is still in an incubator at the hospital. Tia recently celebrated her 15th birthday at the hospital, which has got to be so much better than you know, going to a movie or having a sleep-over with friends.

Shem recently went to the hospital to see his granddaughter – and the nurses wouldn’t let him in, thinking there was no way this young dude could be the grandfather. Awesome. That’s how you know you’re at the right place in life.

Gracie’s dumbass father, Jordan, says he understands responsibility. He was quoted by the Daily Mail as saying “I’m captain of the school rugby team and that’s like having 14 kids.”

/FACEPALM

Good…luck?

Sauce: Daily Mail

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Leave it to 8BitDad to do a ton of hardcore investigative journalism before posting a story.

Earlier today I painted Mitch Winehouse as a rad dude, giving out his dead daughter’s stuff to fans on the street. Well, he’s still kind of cool for that – but when I got home from work, I read this story over at celebrity site What Would Tyler Durden Do.

Basically, Mitch Winehouse threw a party at a BAR in memory of Amy – which as Brendon of WWTDD says, is “a completely appropriate way to mourn someone who drank themselves to death 5 days ago.” LOL

Also, did you notice that the black dude (or “African gentleman” as they call them in England) posing with Mitch is totally thinking “should we be smiling about Amy’s death?” And the other guy in the striped shirt is terrified because he sees Amy’s whiskey-soaked ghost flying in from down the block, where she was snorting coke off a vagrant in an alley.

It’s still sad that Mitch lost his daughter – but hey man, if he doesn’t care, I don’t care.

Sauce: What Would Tyler Durden Do

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Don’t read this story if you want to close out your Friday on a high note.

Ray Salvador Coriell, a 29 year old moron in Bakersfield, California, is being held on $1 million bail after a standoff ending in his arrest Thursday. Coriell was arrested on charges of kidnapping with the act of rape, kidnapping with the intent to rape, intercourse with a child under 10 years old, and attempted murder – which makes this guy an official nominee for 8BitDad’s Worst Father, California Edition.

The was a standoff with cops stemming from Coriell’s daughter’s disappearance. Coriell had texted the daughter’s stepmother saying that he was going to hurt himself. Police swarmed the house and had a standoff with Coriell, who voluntarily came out at 7pm.

Coriell’s daughter disappeared in the middle of the night and turned-up across town the next day. Originally, Coriell wasn’t a suspect in the daughter’s disappearance, but later, was all that and more – when the charges for rape and kidnapping dropped on him.

Head to the sauce if you want to read more about this absolute waste of fatherhood piece of s**t.

Sauce: Bakersfield

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Fans outside of Amy Winehouse’s former residence yesterday saw Amy’s father, mother and brother show up to sort through her belongings. As her mother and brother continued to sort through things upstairs, Amy’s father Mitch surprised fans by re-emerging from Winehouse’s Camden flat to give fans on the street some of her clothes, jewelry and other small trinkets.

“These are Amy’s T-shirts,” Mitch said. “This is what she would have wanted – for her fans to have her clothes.”

The family kept her larger and more important possessions like her guitars and notebooks.

Condolences to Mitch and family. Any time a father has to bury his child, it’s a shame. Out of respect for her father, I didn’t keep the really bad joke I originally put in this article.

Sauce: International Business Times

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Biker dads in Australia: you’re like the rebel of the rebels. But don’t let that be the reason that you photograph your toddler daughter holding a loaded gun and post it to Facebook.

That’s exactly what some 29 year old Aussie father did – after a long day of riding the mean streets of Melbourne, he came home and thought “you know what would kick this day up a notch? Giving my toddler a gun and starting her on the path to a life of greatness.”

The man was arrested on FIVE firearm-related charges, including a prohibited person possessing an unregistered gun, possessing unregistered handgun and possessing a silencer. The gun was found during a raid by the Echo Taskforce, which I swear is an agency from a Tom Clancy video game.

Oh, and this dude is already in trouble for other stuff – including a kidnapping and armed robbery charges. And he’s linked with one of Australia’s more violent gangs. He was, needless to say, prohibited from owning firearms. Maybe his daughter wasn’t!

Idiot.

Herald Sun

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