All Posts by: Zach Rosenberg

I Can't Even!

The 25th anniversary of The Simpsons was this week! The half-hour sitcom began airing way back on December 17, 1989!

If you were raised on the humor of The Simpsons, as I was, you might have a bevvy of insults and comebacks culled straight from the show. For a hot-90s-minute, I was requesting that people “don’t have a cow, man” or for people to “eat my shorts”. Everything was totally coming up Milhouse whenever I dropped a Simpsons joke.

But that didn’t mean that younger-me understood every episode. The Simpsons really wasn’t a kid’s show, but we all somehow watched it. As a child, I had a limited frame of reference for all of the humor – and while this made the show appeal to both younger and older generations, it also made the show great to re-watch now that I’m an adult. Some of those jokes I missed as a kid really hit the mark now.

That being said, there are definitely episodes that your kids can’t even. Can’t even what? Understand? Handle? Come up Milhouse? Check out our list and suggest your own at the end!

2

Mario Dad & Son

If there’s a God, Andy Baio is doing his or her work.

Andy, a 37 year old dude from Portland, Oregon, has his priorities right. While the rest of us are content to plop our kids down in front of whatever the most recent video game is, Baio wanted to know what would happen if he ran his son through the history of video games from past to present.

I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to leap through the computer and hug the crap out of Andy when I first read this story.

2

Bus Dad Kiss

A father in China whose “intimate behavior” with his daughter on a bus has been absolved of all wrongdoing in a statement by the police. The father’s actions were recorded by another person on the Zhuhai City bus and posted online with the title “Is this the girl’s father?”

When you see the behavior in question, you might be shocked and disgusted. But probably just because you can’t believe a dad showing affection to his daughter is being called into question like this.

3

Guard Your Grill

Fatherhood is dangerous – just ask a testicle.

A study of 2,000 fathers in England found that dads are hurt to the tune of 22 injuries a year. Most of the injuries are related to the kids – whether it’s during play with them or tripping over a toy left behind. Or having their child speedbag their scrotum during a play-fight.

The struggle is real.

2

A Perfect Moment in Fatherhood
Movie(s) Available!

Perfect Moment Crying

Fatherhood is really something sometimes.

Tonight, my son and I found ourselves crying into each other over a video game theme song. And it was a perfect moment.

4

PlayStation 20

This week marked 20 years since the release of the Sony PlayStation. Gaming’s come a long way, but I have too – I’m now married and I have a five year old son. I’ve lived during the lifespans of four Sony PlayStation consoles and a handheld. But somehow, this isn’t the only gaming birthday that shows my age.

When I heard that the PlayStation turned 20, I thought about what I was doing back then. I was sitting in my friend’s living room, playing the “PlayStation Picks” demo disc – featuring games like Jumping Flash, ESPN Xtreme Games and Wipeout. I was playing a CD-based system for only the second time – the first, of course, was the SEGA CD, which next October will be 23 years old.

If you sit and think about all of the video game birthdays that pass by every year, it’ll break your brain.

2

Fear the Beard

Luke Hughett is such a devout lumbersexual hipster that he actually got to a point where he had to decide between his beard and his baby. And thank your lucky mandolins he chose his baby.

But the New York dad (who liked it a lot better when it was New Amsterdam) wasn’t going to let his beard get shaved off, just to die in a trashcan. Oh no. What are you…crazy? Some crazy, city-dwelling future boy? Yeah, you are, aren’t you?!

3

Prank Freakout

If your spouse pranked you and had you thinking that they’d just accidentally killed your son, what would you do?

YouTube prankster Roman Atwood did, and now he’ll be sleeping on the couch.

Atwood pretended to throw his son over a second-floor railing in their Los Angeles, California home. The wife freaks out, cries, runs downstairs and discovers the prank after ripping the mask off of the dummy thought to be her son…

5