So, the end of this road has come. It came at the intersection of HWY 30 and the entrance of a Super Wal-Mart in Iowa. Many people have told us to not see this adventure as a failure, but that has been a rough conclusion to get to. I have begun to accept that shit happens and that no matter what choice we made, we did the best that we could against so many odds. Sometimes adventurers have to dip out of the dungeons, get back to the village for repairs, potions and better equipment. I just wish that the DM could have thrown in some better loot!

(BTW, this episode is brought to you by D&D)

I miss all the hats I was able to wear; father, mechanic, navigator and husband. I still wear them now but it’s not the same. When we were riding, I constantly had to switch them, now that we are temporarily done some will just collect dust for a time. I have realized that being a parent is tough no matter where you are or what you are doing, unless of course, you are a lazy P.O.S. expletive-bag parent. We all have roles which we fill; the thief can be the comedic relief, bad guy and save the party once or twice too!

So – journey’s over. This leg of it, at least. We’re in Maine now, planning the rest of our lives.

Zach asked me about the “comfort of the home.” Not having a house to return to never really crossed my mind. My brain switched over to the road, something I do not think all people can (or even want to) do. Comfort is a trap. My children became the safety net. When all was seeming to collapse around us, we gained energy from the children. At mile 89 of our longest day, I was done – kaput! The wind and hills battered us all day while the rest of our friends, family and God rested. The sun was a hair on the western horizon, which was behind us, when Cait’s light died and mine was dim. Then from behind me Counsel hoots “O YEAH!” so loud and in a way that would have made Chief Crazy Horse proud. We ended up yelping, hooting and hollering for the last 6 miles. My son helped me reign in all my roles to get us off the road. Having your children cheering you, helping you push out an extra six miles when you can’t; that’s comforting.

What about the kids’ experiences?

I would be a liar if I said I knew what they are taking away from this short adventure. We see this as foundational work. Your children learn more in their first five years of life than they will learn the rest of it. Our children have seen bison, lizards, lots of different birds and, oh goodness, the scenery! Seeing these things in person, sharing the same time and space with creatures we share this earth with helps establish a connection. It is a connection we consider very important for our children to have. Not to diss staying at home and watching pictures of animals show up on t.v. or colouring trees in a book but in our book they just don’t compare with the real deal. Our children have seen backroads, highways, mountains, windmills, rivers and the sky from thousands of different locations. They were able to meet their great-grandparents, that’s important on so many levels. Lastly, and most importantly, our children we able to spend time with their parents and share in our adventure.

What are our next plans?

Well, that deals with why this post is long overdue. Cait and I are working on a plan to help out the local community here in Maine. We want to implement some organic farming on our family land and to be able to host our fellow bicyclists and adventurers. I have been working on raising some capital (raising money is not my strong point) to buy things for the farm, learning about laws and loans, and of course there has been the good ol’ manual labor.

In September we are flying to Bulgaria – we just aren’t sure how long we will be staying. In Bulgaria, we plan on trading some labor for room and board and also gaining some more knowledge, experience and memories! Over the summer, more plans will be set and we will have a clearer picture of the next five(ish) years.

I apologize for the tardiness of this post. Thanks for reading!

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Editor’s Note: Thank you for your donations!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad was proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get them closer to their goal.

I had a big post planned. I was going to start off with “Well we’re not in Kansas anymore…” and I was going to say how awkward we felt in Kansas and our string of bad service and weather luck. I was going to tell you all about “D” an Afghanistan (and probably Iraq) War Veteran who like me is plagued with PTSD. And I was going to throw in a big spiel about how war freaking sucks and I cried for miles after meeting “D.” I was going to tell you all about our (way too long) vacation in Omaha, and yeah…

I have to be honest, this has been a difficult trip. In the forty-five days – 45 – we have been on the road, we have had a lot of hardships. Our longest mileage day totaled 95.6 miles. We’ve gone through so many diapers it’s astounding. We have lost over 50lbs in gear. We have ridden 1350 miles to date. And, unfortunately, somewhere around 184,500 children have died due to a lack of clean drinking water. I take that very seriously. I am not feeling that enough people care about the magnitude of that.

We are not just some curiosity for people’s amusement

If we had been riding for another cause or with/for a church I am willing to bet that we would have had a bigger response to our cause. Our family has been massively effected by cancer. My grandfather was taken by it, my wife survived it, her mom kicked its ass too! How many of you have been touched by one of its numerous forms? How many people have you lost because of it? But we ride for a much different cause. We ride because one in eight people on the planet doesn’t have access to clean drinking water. We can’t relate to that. We, with our two to four cups of 12.0z coffee in the morning. We with our flushing toilets, our 35 gallon hot water heaters and hour-long showers. We with plastic individually packaged bottles of water. We can’t relate to what it is like to not be able to have, next to air, life’s most basic fucking requirement!

We couldn’t fathom sending our children off in the morning to walk for miles, in god-knows-what, to collect our days ration of water. We couldn’t imagine what it would be like to just be lucky enough to have our kids go to school instead of bitching about the PTA and afterschool sports. We couldn’t imagine what it would be like to watch our children die in our arms because the water we have is infested with germs and pollution. We couldn’t relate so instead of turning a blind eye to them or talk a lot about how awful it is that those people so far away have to live that way, we did something. We gave up practically everything because we couldn’t understand a major issue in the world and we wanted to help.

Cait and I had been working on lowering out footprint on the environment. We have constantly been on this metamorphosis and we have changed so much that…we can’t relate to a lot of people now. We can’t imagine what it would be like to bitch about our favourite barista not being around when we knew we could stop going to the shop for a week, save that money just for that week and possibly give someone the gift of water, for two freaking DECADES, by donating the $20. We couldn’t imagine telling our kids there are starving kids in parts of the world and not doing anything to bring about the end of that tragedy. We can’t image hearing about our friends or family trying to better the world and we not help them.

So I am hoping that I can fill you all in on what it is like to be us and me since this is my “fatherhood.” I just can’t pull out another “Oh look how beautiful “Fatherhood-On-The-Go is” post.

Imagine, if you will…

…hauling your children across your state, never mind the whole country, let’s start with your state. Instead of going 60 miles an hour you go, max, 16. Because this trip isn’t just some fancy-free, picturesque ride around the block. This is more like throw two of your kids on back, carry four bags of heavy groceries up a huge hill, against the wind, in the sun, rain and cold. EVERDAY! FOR HOURS!!! Yes days, because with kids you’re average daily mileage will be about 60 miles. Instead of that nice reclining and adjustable seat you have in your car, bear all of your weight down on to this…thing…that’s about the size of your shoe! Get rid of that steering wheel, the cruise control, volume control and blah blah blah. Get rid of the climate-controlled insides of your vehicle. This road trip is going to be more like riding in a jeep with no doors, the top off and the windshield laid down on the hood. Get rid of that stupid automatic transmission as well, this is all manual shifting, and you better watch those RPMs because that’s your legs pumping away beneath you and beneath that shoe that is jabbing into your butt.

Now get rid of your partner in the passenger seat. (I mostly used to drive, I’m not being sexist or roleist). You get to hear and handle the children in the back seat behind you. No more other parent to spin around and grab toys to hand back, more searching for binkies, switching DVDs, telling one to not pick the nose of the other. It’s all on you, pal. If it’s windy you can’t hear the kids all the time, which can be a blessing and a curse.

(Story continues after Remy’s Ride for Charity: Water Gallery)

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This trip is a big deal to us. It is mentally and physically tough on us. If you can begin to imagine what I was just trying to describe to you up above then try and imagine doing that for the past 45 days! We do this because we care and we are hurt that we are giving so much of ourselves and our family and see so many people can’t give a little. It would be a really wonderful thing if more people possibly could relate to what we are doing as a family on this trip. If that then maybe they could relate also with the other parents around their world who also have children. And just maybe that fear of losing your children could help you relate to that mother’s fear in Sudan or the father’s in India as they watch their children walk off into the distance to collect water for the day. If you could feel just the beginnings of their fear would you help? If for the same price as couple packs of cigarettes or a couple Red Bulls, or even for that bad ass game for PS3 you could help another parent’s child, would you?

184,500 children have died since we started this trip. How many can we help save before this trip is over?

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Editor’s Note: Please donate to this cause (links removed, campaign over) and make Remy’s ride a success!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad is proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get closer to their goal.

I just wasted so much water, standing in the shower, thinking, thinking, thinking. I am hole’d up in the hotel bathroom with a million thoughts running through my head. As if riding all day left alone with nothing but my own thoughts, demons and dreams was enough, they persist into the down time. I hear and see so many things on the road but all I really have are my thoughts.

Everyday We Work

This trip is really like “Bring Your Child To Work Day!” Yet, I don’t work in an office. No air conditioning until the next restaurant, grocery store or motel. I don’t crunch numbers or look at case law. I don’t paint. We ride. Every day I push out “left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot” on and on. We eat, sleep, breathe and parent just to put one more mile behind us; to get one mile closer to the destination and to hopefully raise more money for people we will probably never meet. Our job to provide for those in need. Everyday my children are with us at “work.” Everyday I worry about them as the temperature rises and each car passes. Everyday I wonder if Cait and I will be successful in this venture. Mile after mile, hill after hill, I think and worry. Everyday we work.

To those of us that care about our children the worries never end. Whether we be a stay at home mom or dad, or any other of the myriad possibilities of “parenthood.” As Bryan said in Episode 23, we always have these things that we are told we “have to do” as a parent. I, now a Daddy³, have realized a lot of the expectations are bunk or flexible but the worries never end. As Counsel lays in bed with Mommy and Melodious, refusing to go to sleep, I worry if I am doing the right thing. We can’t always get wrapped up in the worries. (It’s so easy to say but so hard to put into action.)

What’s so big about a bicycle ride?

I want to be a good role model for my children and instill morals and values that will carry them through their toughest days yet I wonder if I am. Yes Bryan, plenty of people have told us we are doing things wrong. Sure they don’t outright say them in those words but their eyes, the inflection of their voices and the mannerisms speak loudly. People ask us what church we are with and seem astounded that we are doing this ourselves. Then we get looks as though we are crazy for subjecting our kids to this without any religious reasons. Not everyone thinks we are crazy; we’ve been called “gutsy,” “amazing,” “interesting” AND “crazy.” We’ve even been asked whether we asked the kids if they wanted to do this! What’s the matter with involving my children from the very beginning in helping others? Billions of people subject their children to their own religious beliefs and assorted mores, norms and other societal rights of passage from birth. What’s so big about a bicycle ride? I digress. We all, no matter what our background, seem to do something that others do not understand.

(Story continues after Remy’s Ride for Charity: Water Gallery)

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So much purpose

I love my children. They are my reason for existing. All I want after a long hard day of staring ahead at the road is to see them smiling at me. When we pull up to a restaurant, all I want is to get some food for them and us (as in Cait and I.) When the road is done with us, I want them in our arms and in a bed instead of the confines of a seat. So much purpose and yet… so many thoughts. I just want to become a better man, for them, for my wife and hopefully for a lot of people in need. Is that so much to ask? Perhaps I will find the answer in another 900 miles.

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Editor’s Note: Please donate to this cause (links removed, campaign over) and make Remy’s ride a success!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad is proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get closer to their goal.

We needed the extra day off in Yuma. We were able to lose 20 lbs of gear and collect our thoughts. Beautiful pictures were taken with my wife’s grandmother and my beard was trimmed down to a very dapper French-looking goatee.

Arizona is one of the few states where bicyclist can ride on the Interstate, a fact we did not know until we were in Yuma. We have been able to capitalize on this in order to make this last leg of the trip less stressful on the children. Our ride out of Yuma flew by, and next thing we knew, we were underneath the overpass of our intended stop. Our “maybe” from the host turned into silence so we pushed out another six or seven miles to the first motel we found. It was rather dive-y but we got a cash discount. We dined on overpriced gas station oatmeal, cereal bars, Fritos, Powerade, sunflower seeds and bean dip and watched as much of the three-station cable TV we could. Needless to say we bounced as the sun was rising over the mountains and pedaled towards Gila Bend.

Gila Bend was a long push. We rode 76 miles that day, something we will not be doing again. We were able to meet and talk to quite a few people at the rest stop along the highway. Counsel and Melodious were ready to be off the road around mile 55 and the last ten beat us up both mentally and physically. We stayed at the El Coronado motel. The manager was really nice, liked that we were paying with cash and gave us a bigger room because of the bicycles and kids. Counsel was a monster all night long! He made it very clear that we had been bad parents.

Another Rough Day

We ate pizza for a quick breakfast and headed towards Maricopa. Two miles out of town, the left tire on the Chariot was flat. Not a good start. We pulled over, Cait breastfed Melodious, Counsel played trucks in the dirt and I went to work on the tire (see gallery pic). Next thing I know, Cait points out that two friendly people had pulled over; one in front of us and another behind. I look up and stepping out of the front vehicle was a man in all-too-familiar desert camo! The decked out gentleman informed us of heavy drug trafficking going on in those parts, asked if we were okay and where we were going. I said we would be better if we didn’t have a flat and we were heading from Long Beach to Bar Harbor. His concerns satisfied, he waved-off his partner in the vehicle behind us, got back into his, and headed off down “Dead Cow Road.”

It took two patches to get us back on the road then not even another two miles further, the f***er was flat again! This made for another rough day. The mileage should have been manageable, the hills weren’t that difficult but pulling into Maricopa felt worse than pulling into Gila Bend. We ran to the local Fry’s bought a box of Tofutti mint chip Cuties, a carton of Silk Fruit & Protein, and other groceries. We sat at a patio set outside and downed all eight ice-cream sandwiches and the whole carton! Glorious, glorious vegan calories! Unfortunately we were informed that the only place to stay was Harrah’s Casino four miles south of town. But fortunately for us, the staff was AMAZING, the free buffet was AMAZING, the beds were AMAZING, and other than Counsel still punishing us, our stay was AMAZING.

We flew the next day through the Phoenix area thanks to good flats and a long bicycle trail system. Even with construction and some small set backs à la finicky babies, we pushed out 50 of our 55 miles. Then Chaos struck again and the kids refused to get back in the Chariot and go further. We hopped into another Fry’s, bought more Cuties and smoothie goodness and contacted our host in Apache Junction. She was a wonderful woman who offered to swing by and pick us up, then dealt with two grumpy children.

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Our kids seem to have a love-hate relationship with the road. If we stay too long in the morning, they get antsy to get going. If we stay on the road too long, we pay for until our “off” days. I cannot describe how wonderful it was to ride from Apache Junction to Superior, Arizona. We found a shorter route and cut out 20 miles! Counsel was ready, ready, ready to go and once in the Chariot was out, out, out. Both kids stayed asleep or happy until we reached Gonzalez Pass. We pulled off the road real quick – Mommy and Daddy took a pee break, Melodious fed, Counsel threw pebbles (he loves playing in sand now!). After Gonzalez Pass, we bombed down the mountain into Superior. Cranking away in my 18th gear, cooling down at 30 miles-per-hour and knowing we have a day out of the saddle really lifted our spirits.

But, now I need to go, Melodious just had a blow-out. Perhaps we should have bought Huggies. *wink*wink*

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Editor’s Note: Please donate to this cause (links removed, campaign over) and make Remy’s ride a success!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad is proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get closer to their goal.

How does one begin to sum up and describe one of the biggest undertakings they’ve had? I was hoping to be able to write with beautiful prose, spinning tales of wonderfulness, but that just isn’t going to happen this time. We have ridden over 300 miles from Long Beach, California to Yuma, Arizona. We have faced California’s Santa Ana winds the whole week. We’ve dumped over 20 pounds of excess weight. The Chariot has had two flat tires and we’ve gotten lost twice.

This bicycle tour is the toughest thing I have done as a father.

I thought everything would be so easy. “It’ll be like basic math”, I said. “We will wake up early, ride for three hours at ten miles-per-hour, then take a lunch break, then we end the day with another three hour ride. Easy! Sixty miles a day!” Wrong.

Chaos

I, in my infinite mathematical genius wisdom, forgot to take “Chaos” into consideration. (I am not actually a math genius)

The old proverbial saying goes: “You are only as strong as your weakest link.” Well, on the road we are only as strong as the kids. Parenting while bicycling is much tougher than main-stream parenting and for those of you that have gone on a long distance, multi-day car rides with your kids, it’s tougher than that as well! When the children scream because they need a way-past-due diaper change you can’t always pull over. When the children want to stretch and play, there isn’t always shade and a playground or field.

What must it have been like as one of our nomadic ancestors? When they were trying to get to the winter lands before the cold snap, did they have to stop because the baby was screaming bloody murder? Did their nerves fry? Did “Chaos” manifest in the screams of cranky neolithic toddlers and direct the paths of migration? Our children are normally well-mannered, but after hours cramped up in the Chariot and being bounced around by some terrible road shoulders, even Saint Peter would stop cooperating. We all lasted a week. A long, hot, windy, stressful week.

So, here we sit in Yuma, AZ with my wife’s grandmother and two happy children. We have decided to take two days off instead of just one. We plan on shedding more weight and reworking the route to allow for some more shorter days.

Here’s a couple pictures from our trip so far in rough chronological order (we’ll add more to this as the trip continues):

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From here we head towards the sprawling desert metropolis of Phoenix. Outside of Phoenix we will take our next “off” day and there I will pen my next entry.

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Editor’s Note: Please donate to this cause (links removed, campaign over) and make Remy’s ride a success!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad is proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get closer to their goal.

On March 1st, my wife, two of our children and myself will be biking across the country. We will pack our bikes, get on an airplane courtesy of Alaskan Airlines here in Seattle, and fly to Long Beach California. My wife will be carrying supplies and I will be pulling the kids in a trailer made by Chariot, along with some gear and musical instruments. The Chariot has 5 point harnesses for the two kids, a roll cage, and leaf springs for suspension (No shaken babies in this family).

Our route will first bring us to Yuma, AZ then Phoenix, White Sands National Monument and on up to Omaha to see my wife’s brother. We then swing a little more north to see more family in Iowa. After Iowa, we head east and north up to Niagara Falls. I brought my oldest son to Niagara Falls when I was moving home after the military, so it will be nice to bring the youngest children there as well. The last leg of our tour will be for us to shoot east to Syracuse, through southern Vermont and New Hampshire to our destination; Bar Harbor, Maine.

We are going to ride two bicycles across the country to raise awareness and funds for Charity: Water, which is, in our personal opinions, an awesome charity.

Charity: Water

Water, we are made mostly of it. Being a dad has taught me how important it is to the development of children. Being raised in western society means I have had some of the best drinking water and now my children do too. Unfortunately, this isn’t the same for all people’s children. Charity: Water is an organization that is working to fix that.

As of January 15, 2012 Charity: Water has provided 2,545,000 people with clean drinking water. With this charity, as opposed to many other so-called “charities”, 100% of public donations go directly to the places in need to fund water projects. This means a lot to my wife and myself. We both have looked into many of these “charities” and many do not use a large percentage of their donations for the actual cause. My wife and I don’t have a lot of money, we are activists not philanthropists and we don’t support shady organizations now matter how flashy they seem.

If you would like to donate to my Charity: Water campaign, you can do so here (Donation link removed, campaign over).

Why Are We Doing This?

Are we some world class athletes? To be brief, we are doing this because we want to. I have been planning a big thing like this for a while but life happens. My wife is doing this because she likes the idea; she is an adventurer, headstrong and thinks this is a good way for us to start out our nomadic lives. Bicycling is a very efficient and environmental mode of transportation. We like helping other people. And no, we are not world class athletes. My wife is a runner, I am a swimmer but we both have only done recreational bicycling for fun. We do, however, walk 30+ miles a week, we enjoy bicycling, are hard-headed and determined.

Is it going to be tough? OH, without a doubt! I know there will be days we won’t want to get out from under the sleeping bag. There will the the chaffed backside and diaper rash screams from the Chariot. But, everyday is an accomplishment. Everyday we, as a whole family, will have some forward momentum and visible accomplishments. I believe toughness will make us stronger and help us enjoy the good times.

How will parenting be on the road?

I have no flippin’ clue! We aren’t the normal, mainstream parents in the first-place so it is difficult to imagine the difference. We plan on parenting the same way we would in our apartment. Somethings aren’t for the children to touch or climb on. We will have plenty of spots for time-outs if needed. We have travel insurance and a “Spot Satellite GPS Messenger.” The insurance speaks for itself and the “Spot” we can use to send out an SOS, track our progress and check-in with custom messages along the way. In my opinion, parenting (and life in general) is more about managing risk and danger not always avoidance and elimination.

What will we do after this ride and what do I think the children will get out of it? Well, I will discuss this more along the way but the Cliffnotes version is: this is only the beginning and we are heading to Europe next. We hope the children get to see the world in the first person instead of a television set or a laptop screen. We hope our children retain the languages we learn and learn respect for other cultures. And the hopes, dreams and aspirations for our children along with our own lives goes on and on…

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Continue to Part 2 of “Fatherhood On The Go” >>

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Editor’s Note: Please donate to this cause (donation link removed, campaign over) and make Remy’s ride a success!

“Fatherhood On the Go” is the multi-part story of Remy Stevensen and his family, who are beginning a nomadic lifestyle by biking across the country with two children and all the while, raising money for Charity: Water. Their ultimate goal is to travel to impoverished nations to implement the infrastructure for which they’re raising money. 8BitDad is proud to help Remy and family get the word out about this charity, and get closer to their goal.