Radio and television personality Dr. Drew recently made it super simple for dads who are worried about their daughters dating emotionally unavailable dickholes. And while his words were technically “If you don’t want your daughters to do the same thing and go after invisible men, don’t be an invisible dad,” we know Drew really wanted to cut loose and call people names.

So, you see, this is why Dr. Drew has a television show and we don’t: Dr. Drew has restraint. And one of those fancy degrees and doctor-like licenses. And probably a stethoscope.

You can watch the video of Drew laying down the law on dads on HLN, sauced below.