NickMom Insults Dads
by | Sept. 13, 2012 at 3:53 p.m.

We’re not sure where this “Parenting Techniques: Moms vs. Dads” originated, but NickMom wasn’t shy about slapping their logo at the bottom of this stock photo dad-hating comparison. The image runs through most of the prime examples of painful fatherhood stereotypes where mom is a God and dad is a f*cking idiot child.

There are some hilarious images out there that poke fun at both mothers and fathers.

This one is simply biased and insulting.

I hate these types of images filed under LOLS that depict fathers as insignificant babysitters. It does nothing good for moms or dads. Everyone knows a father.

I’m a father and this is bullish*t.

Do moms get a cheap laugh? Is this actually really funny and I just don’t get it?

Perhaps this says a whole lot more about those that actually do find it funny.

Comedic opinions aside, this image is actually damaging to parental relationships. It’s the hangnail reminder of how others might look at you in public. For example, it was very easy for a small selection of moms to judge Serge Bielanko and his parental abilities based on one – ONE – photo.

So there’s that.

I mean, I get how moms are inherently more physically and emotionally connected to their children. Yeah, SCIENCE. It’s second nature for them not to give up on their kids. But why can’t fathers cook a f*cking turkey? Why can’t fathers hold a f*cking baby correctly? Why can’t fathers answer a stupid f*cking question from their daughter?

F*CK.

I guess I just don’t understand why there’s no fight – why fatherhood rights are less important than political issues like, for example, sexual orientation or race. I firmly believe that if there was a positive, subliminal shift towards the dynamic of equal parenting, families with children would be happier.

The world would be better off if people understood a father’s significance.

Here are some stats for children without fathers:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) — 5 times the average.
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes — 32 times the average.
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes — 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes — 14 times the average. (Justice and Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes — 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average. (Rainbows for All God’s Children)
  • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes — 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Dept. of Correction)

We represent a lot more than just a paycheck to a child; we represent safety, protection, guidance, friendship and someone to look up to.

UPDATE 5:17PM: One of our friends, Chris Routly (DaddyDoctrines.com), pointed us to another NickMom article entitled “Top 9 Reasons Why Father’s Day Should Be Replaced By A Second Mother’s Day | More LOLs & Funny Stuff“.

What’s #1? “How many dads would even notice that Father’s Day was gone?”

Zing?

Anyways, NickMom, please take your posts down and change your approach to fathers.

Want to help make a positive change?

Comment or send NickMom and email via the post, throw our article on NickMom’s Facebook page and tweet it to @NickMom.

Let us know that you’re helping fathers in the comments below!

Thanks to Charlie at HowToBeADad.com for the early Christmas present.

NickMom

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Author: Bryan Ferguson View all posts by
Bryan is married and has one daughter and 2 cats. He has been playing music since he was 3 years old. He spends his days surrounded by scientists in Malibu when he's not creating music.
  • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

    Shame on you, @NickMom. Thanks for writing this up, Bryan – it’s stupid that they feel that they’ve got to do this polarizing song-and-dance, when in many families, it’s reversed. In my family, my wife has taken our son to McDonalds more than I have, simply because she doesn’t cook. And I’m fairly sure she and I both want ice cream with the same frequency (but we don’t give it to our kid cause who’s wasting moose tracks on a 3 year old?!).

    It’s dumb to do this stuff where they pit moms against dads. But Nickelodeon is a network that’s got women in mind. Thankfully, on Nick Jr., there are plenty of promos and public interest pieces with moms and dads alike.

    Nick DOES however, have a show coming up called “See Dad Run” starring Scott Baio – which proves to be HILARIOUS: “In See Dad Run, David Hobbs [Baio] has spent the last decade playing the perfect father on one of TV’s biggest sitcoms. But when the series ends and his wife resumes her own television career, he finds himself cast in his most challenging role to date: handling the day-to-day needs of three kids who’ve grown accustomed to not having him around. David soon learns that playing a dad on TV is child’s play compared to the real thing.”

    So, in short, dads are a joke to Nickelodeon, aside from some subtle nods on Nick Jr.

    Here’s to hoping they catch up with the rest of society.

    • http://twitter.com/TechyDad TechyDad

      My family is the same way. This past week, I’ve made turkey with homemade french fries (russett potatoes, sliced into rounds, sprayed with cooking spray, topped with salt/pepper/garlic powder, and oven baked until they are addictingly good) and roasted eggplant/zucchini. Time constraints (and fussy kids) sometimes keep me from making hugely complex meals, but I love spending time in the kitchen cooking up dinner. Dad cooking doesn’t mean take out and it doesn’t always mean BBQ either.

      • Misty

        I just got good cooking advice from a man. 0___0 *mind blown* Don’t you know you aren’t suppose to be anything other than the adult child in your household!?!?! You’re not allowed to be a good man! It goes against the grain!!!! XD

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      It IS a shame dads are just a joke for the shows on @NickelodeonTV. I grew up watching Nick via You Can’t Do That On Television, DoubleDare, blah blah. It’s like they’ve become so monetized over time like MTV where they find a niche audience and slam their head OVER AND OVER into a brick wall because that’s “what works”. There’s no innovation and it’s just terrible to think that there’s no oversight within their empire and branding.

  • Lucilla Feliciano

    @Nickmom it is easier to bash father’s than actually look for examples of men who are raising children together with their partners either under the same roof or not. I know dads who could care less, are pieces of shit, who don’t want anything to do with their children. But I have come to know more fathers who will work with their ex-wives, husbands, wives, and girlfriends to raise children together. As people we need to praise other’s strengths instead of always looking for weaknesses. Perhaps the people running the site had dad’s who were not present or not supportive. My dad come’s from an era in Puerto Rico where if you had a daughter, father’s could not change their diapers because it was not socially acceptable. My daughter does not have a dad like that. He changes diapers, he cleans, he baths, and works from home. Of course there are some things he leaves to me but if I need help, he is more than willing to step in. So the images depicted in these stupid memes do not represent what happens in our home.

  • http://twitter.com/kevinsky Kevin A

    I posted a comment there. You’ll probably never see it, so I’ll repost it here

    “Thanks for reminding dads that we’re the incompetent parent. We don’t hear that nearly enough on TV. It would also be nice to have more strange women in playgrounds demanding that I tell them where my son’s mother is, or ordering me to divulge the contents of his bottle. It’s either motor oil or beer, lady! How do you expect me to remember what I put in there half an hour ago?”

    • http://twitter.com/TechyDad TechyDad

      Motor oil OR beer? Sheesh what a bad dad. Every one knows you have to mix equal parts motor oil AND beer for the kids’ bottles. ;-)

      • Jacqui

        LOL. Ok, I snorted on that one. Thanks for that laugh :)

  • http://twitter.com/TechyDad TechyDad

    So horrible. This just contributes to the view that many have that only moms make good parents and the best parenting a dad can do is to get out of the way.

    The specific one above the annoys me is the “Dinner is served” example. I’m the cook in our family so “dinner is served” with me is less likely to involve takeout and more likely to involve something I cooked. Of course, there’s the usual “ewwww I don’t want that! I want something else!” from my kids, but that’s not because my cooking is bad but because they prefer boxed mac & cheese to pasta with homemade sauce and vegetables. (Kids’ tastebuds. Go figure.)

  • http://twitter.com/TechyDad TechyDad

    Wrote out a whole reply to the “Father’s Day” article and then saw that they don’t allow posts unless you log into a NickMom account or link up your Facebook account. Since I have neither (and am not creating one for them), here’s what I would have replied:

    ==================================

    While I might not have had to do much “work” or spend much time creating our kids, I did support my wife during her pregnancies. Also, once my kids were born, I didn’t just sit back and say “My contribution is over!” I was *gasp* actually involved in parenting. When the kids cried in the middle of the night, guess who got up to be with them? Me. I let my wife get whatever sleep she could while I rocked them back to sleep at 2am… and then at 3am… and then at 3:30am… and then at 4:30am again. And, after all that, I still put in 8 hours of work to support my family.
    On the weekends, I’ll frequently take the kids out so that my wife can have some peace and quiet. When it comes to cooking, I’m the one who does 95%+ of it. Oh and “sleep in then lie on the couch watching baseball?” Really? I’m up at 6am every day (when my oldest invariably wakes up) and I don’t lie on the couch letting my wife do all the work. We’re partners and split the chores. (And I don’t watch baseball.)
    This article makes it sound like kicking the father out would result in no net loss (or even possibly a net gain as the hard working mother wouldn’t have to deal with the idiot dad). That’s just plain insulting.

    • http://twitter.com/kevinsky Kevin A

      I’m up at 6am too, even though ours will sleep past 6:30. I get up early so I can have a shower before I start making breakfast and lunch for everyone. I’m like the butler – all dressed and spiffy and frying an egg while everyone else is still drooling on their pyjamas :)

      7 days a week, I should add

    • http://twitter.com/ManvDadhood JB MvD

      I posted this for you… I have no issue with putting out the effort to let someone know that their site is an insult to normal thought processes.

  • Laura @closefamilies

    There are so many stereotype in our culture, and I’m happy that you stand up for fathers everywhere! Now to tackle the mom-bashing stereotypes!! Good dads are everywhere, and there is no perfect parent. Whether mom or dad are together or not, parenting functions best as a team effort, no matter what type of parental role-model that means! Well written response to NickMom’s biased and unoriginal image.

  • Jacqui

    This is a great post. I agree with Laura, there are NO perfect parents. No matter what men, or women try to make you think. Even though we are divorced, my daughter’s father is a huge part of her life and is a very good father. Food Duty? Yeah, I’m all over take out. Hate to cook. But, slowly getting back into it.

    Father’s are an integral part of a child’s life and their role should not be diminished in any way. Do they tend to be the more “fun” parent? Sure, but, that is not always the case.

    You dad’s keep doing what you do. Your child loves you no matter what. Ignore NickMom’s. I think they have issues all their own.

  • http://www.facebook.com/janice.croze Janice Croze

    Pathetic attempts at humor. Seriously — lame stereotypes aren’t even the base of good jokes never mind the fact that their jokes are insulting and damaging for all of the reasons you so clearly outlined in your post. My kids’ dad cooks the turkey, gets the kids in bed on time (I am always late!) and coaches the hockey team. As your stats pointed out, father figures are critical for children and society. We can all laugh at ourselves but blatantly propagating destructive stereotypes isn’t very funny at all.

  • FashionablyOrganized

    You know I find this type of stereotype deplorable. Good for you. I grew up w/a 2 parent working family when no one else did. My dad was primary caregiver (self employed), yes that was d-a-d NickMom. My husband is WAHD, while I’m WOHM. These articles are awful. I’ll file this awful behavior up there w/those women who say “my husband is babysitting.” No he isn’t it’s called being a parent. Bravo to you and boo on NickMom.

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      Ooo I can’t stand the “babysitting” thing.

      My wife never says THAT but she will say “thanks for watching her (my daughter)” if she is out with friends or whatever and then comes back. I playfully remind her that there’s no need to “thank” me because I’m a parent too!

      It’s tough though when she has to work from home all day and it’s just her and our little one – I attribute her thankfulness to a basic appreciation of giving her some “time off”, as it were.

  • Rick Henderson

    I haven’t had a chance to read your stuff before, but I thought I was the only person use who felt that way. Thanks for your work.

  • http://twitter.com/ManvDadhood JB MvD

    Cheap tactics. I’ve never heard of @NickMom, but now that I have, I am glad I have a place to direct my passive aggression. These are horrible.

  • Jessica

    That was my parents exactly.

  • jessica

    Posted too soon. Looking at this site on the iPhone is frustrating. I see someone deleted my comment for me…..

    Anywhoo, I was going to say that this was exactly like my parents. Stereotypes come from somewhere and some people find this sort of thing funny. If people couldn’t relate then it wouldn’t get attention.

    “I guess I just don’t understand why there’s no fight – why fatherhood
    rights are less important than political issues like, for example,
    sexual orientation or race.”

    How is this a fatherhood right? For years fathers didn’t cook, and moms ran the household. This was the way it was in MOST of my friend’s houses growing up. If this wasn’t the majority then this meme wouldn’t exist. What you (all men in general) need to do as fathers to turn it around is to be the opposit of all of those stereotypes. Fly a banner for everyone to see that you’re active participants in every aspect of the household. Eventually the stereotypes will fade.

    There is nothing hateful or spiteful or mean about it no more than most memes are. It’s posted on a website geared towards moms. Perhaps you shouldn’t even be going there since you’re not a mom? Telling a website to remove their content because it offends YOU is
    completely inappropriate. No one will please everyone all of the time.
    Quite frankly I don’t think anyone should have to. Since we all have freedom of speech, I would recommend you stop barring other people’s unless it becomes hateful.

    • Snickety

      for YEARS upn YEARS TV has put moms in teh role of nagging, homemakers, who are dried up old sticks and can’t open a jar without a “man”….yet I never saw any “MAN” getting up in arms about it…what you see on Nickmom is no more than what guys do when they talk about their wives…but its on TV…pretty sure no one was mad at Family Guy, or The Man Show, or Spike TV….or any of that…..the tides have turned and now they’re mad…..I’m not a fan of Nickmom….If this were a Nickdad show making fun of their nagging wives I’m 99.9% certain NONE of the complainers here would have a problems with that. Now befor eyou get all mad at me I SERIOUSLY sit down and think before you reply…THINK on how you talk about your wives, and how your friends often see your/their wives as those that ruin all their fun, etc. etc…THINK about how often you’ve spoken about you wives in the past. I bet 75% of you have litened to your friends crack jokes about your/their wives and you didn’t defend them…nope bet you thought it was HILARIOUS…..that’s what you’re seeing on Nickmom…a reversal of how it’s been for a VERY long time.

  • http://Www.gizzardstone.com/ Mike Henderson

    Another perspective is that the mom in those images is a control freak and the dad is tired of dealing with her. But I think you are right, it doesn’t say anything good about the mom or the dad.

    -Mike

  • Misty

    Ugh, as if there wasn’t enough stereotyping going around these days. Ya know…why is it ok to make men look like lazy, useless idiots everywhere we look, but make a woman look anything but perfect and it’s the end of the world. And yet hold a woman to that perfect image she wants and it’s abuse. And men don’t even cry about it, they just shrug and carry on. MAN ABUSE that’s what this is. Sorry, we know there are great Dads and crappy Dads just the same as Moms.

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  • Stephen

    As a stay at home dad, I am very annoyed by NickMom. You would think in this day and age that a main stream television network wouldn’t promote such sexism. Did they even think about the fathers?

    Now when my child wakes up in the middle of the night we have nothing to watch. I don’t even understand the reasoning behind the show – if it’s late at night not many parents are going to tune into nickjr.