Dad Blogger Gets Slammed By Moms For Posting Happy Picture

Serge Bielanko, friend of the show, got some internet heat recently over this photo he posted back in July. It was one of many in a gallery for an article called Old Work Boots & Camouflage Cargos: How NOT To Let Your Man Fall Out Of Fashion. Not long after his article was published, the photo was featured on Babble’s Facebook page where MOMS ATTACKED.

Serge is a caring writer and loving father. The initial comments were prejudice, hateful and dug into his soul. ”What the heck were these people so upset about? Did they not read my article? I’m HER DAD!”, he wrote in a followup piece. Is it fair to judge a person because of a single picture? Absolutely not. But it is a photo… on the internet.

Oh pre-internet world, your ignorance was so fancy-free and comment-less.

We’ve talked about Babble in the past, hell we even talk back on Twitter with virtual noogies for their “moms only” approach. I wonder if these moms who commented would have reacted differently if Serge’s wife, Monica, was pictured in the same shirt and pose. I’d put money down on ‘yes’. In fact, the comments might have been more extreme and judgmental due to the “one of us moms” approach.

The slouched pose, beer in-hand, not-giving-a-f*ck smile, arm around seemingly naked kid, the “DON’T HATE” shirt and quite possibly the worst offender: camo shorts. Aside from these details that could be extrapolated by irrational individuals, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this photo. Nothing.

It’s a father and a daughter spending time together. Since when did that become “wrong”?

I have a theory.

Every person subconsciously and emotionally invests in every photo they view. It’s the classic I/O example of send/receive data; within seconds, thoughts filter through a closed user/image circuit until the results are calculated via the hippocampus. Relational memory is not a bad thing nor is it wrong to judge. In fact, it’s how I was able to view and interpret Serge’s photo as a happy picture. However, that result weighs heavily on an individual’s configuration. Dependent on cached algorithms, the end result either travels to a “happy place” or the “bad room”.

That might have been a bit too scientific.

Poems are the words pictures cannot illustrate, yet every poem is open for interpretation; much like art. The only difference here is Serge isn’t branding this photo as artistic. It’s a photo of him and his daughter used to illustrate an article. You know, maybe he should offer it up to an art gallery because it is a great photo and there’s clearly a lot to say based on the – now 2,242 – comments on his Huffington Post article.

Serge’s wife bites back on Facebook.

This type of behavior is worse than, say, heckling a comic. There’s no live interaction. It’s pre-meditated, it’s anonymous. As Serge points out, there are equal part – if not more – defenders of the photo. His wife even bites back at those who dare label him as a pervert and a pedophile, ”Your views of this photo say a whole lot more about you and your weirdness than it ever does about my husband and I as parents.”

She’s absolutely right.

Serge’s follow up article, linked in the source below, is out of defense. He obviously cares about his family and has even tried diffusing the situation with humor by commenting, “The heck with the kid, I keep looking at the guy in the photo. He is super hot!”

He’s absolute– nevermind.

Related 8BD Article: Friendly Man Equals Child Predator

Bloggers are not celebrities, though some of us might aspire to be. Most of us hide behind a computer screen and share words more personal than 140 characters and more informative than a status update. We do our best to open up our hearts to discussions, all while trying our best to entertain – I can only speak for 8BitDad.

Fact is, good natured people with souls have don’t have the need for thick skin when defending against outrageous personal attacks – especially when a vulgar crime is willfully suggested. They don’t need that defense mechanism because they never practiced how to be an assh*le.

Maybe we can learn from this. Maybe not. I obviously have an opinion, what’s yours?

Should Serge “man up” and take the internet heat or fight back?



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Author: Bryan Ferguson View all posts by
Bryan is married and has one daughter and 2 cats. He has been playing music since he was 3 years old. He spends his days surrounded by scientists in Malibu when he's not creating music.
  • http://www.bloggerfather.com/ BloggerFather

    The Babble hive-mind is disgusting. I don’t know how you can stand coming near that site. I’d rather read “That’s so gay!” YouTube comments all day than a Babble article.

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      Well we have a couple of friends that write for the Dadding section and they know how we feel about the mom-centric attitude. They make a portion of their living writing over there so we can’t exactly blow up what is food on the table for their families.

      It’s sucks but Babble execs (Disney) might not see an investment to broaden their appeal any further. It’s not just a fun site anymore, it’s a small part of a larger machine. I see it as them squandering a potential opportunity that could work for them AND dads. It’s all about “market research” to them and they use an outdated and biased model to prove that dad readers aren’t worth any money.

    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

      Similarly, I thought I was going to have a freakout over Circle of Moms again the other day but I talked myself down.

      • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

        Another Sharon Silver article?

        • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

          I don’t know who did it – in the e-mail, it was titled something like “Don’t Marry The Father of Your Kids”, but the actual article on their site was titled differently and more level-headed.

  • robkimmel

    Yay dad! Fight back, dude.

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      I agree. Even though it’s comments on the internet, they do reside in a little part of the writer’s heart – especially when it’s something as personal as family. Thanks for commenting!

  • http://twitter.com/JeanneSager jeannesager

    The whole “naked kids are attracting pedophiles” thing leaves me cold. They do realize pedophiles see kids out in public, right? That in any town in America there are creeps just sitting there, walking around in the same parks, the same grocery stores?

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      Right? And I would think, since they’re already f*cked in the head, that they’d be into much more vulgar sh*t than this. I don’t know what’s out there and I never want to try to understand it.

  • http://www.therockfather.com/ James Zahn

    Based on principle alone, he should fight back against the torch-carrying masses. I dress just like this guy, and since we’re doing some hardcore potty training right now, my daughter is running around the house without a bottom on. That must make me a terrible individual as well.

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      OMG WRONG BAD FATHER :) Totally, James. I agree he should fight back. My daughter is almost 2 and thinks it’s the funniest thing to run around naked. Granted we don’t go outside with her naked, but still, there’s no need to attack Serge with implied accusations of him doing the wrong thing. Thanks for commenting!

  • http://twitter.com/BabyCountdown Baby Countdown

    Yeah I think daddy should fight back. The “commenters”- well I think most love hiding behind a keyboard and acting all big and bad. Pretty funny I didn’t notice anything WRONG with the picture until I read on to see what all the hype was about. Talk about judgmental behavior! Pedophile is a very strong word to use before you have proof. Ahh the internet being the internet. Great thing about your blog post is this family just gained a new fan in us :) and yes, this will be retreated, hope I get some heat on it also I am pretty quiet on twitter.– Ann @babycountdown

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      Totally! Thanks for commenting, Ann. I totally get the concern for child predators online and this is just… it’s nothing. A rational person, without even being there when the photo was taken would think it’s just a nice photo of a dad and his daughter relaxing on a porch together. And adding to what you wrote, there definitely needs to be better judgement before an uncredited assessment of the situation in a photo is made.

  • cyberxen

    The kid is wearing a pull up, yet when those sickos looked at the picture they saw, in their minds, a naked child. The inside of their bigoted heads must be a dark and disturbing place.

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      It’s like an ink blot test for fluid intelligence. Is it a lamp or a woman? According to these women it’s a pedobear. *facepalm* Thanks for your comment!

  • http://raulcolon.net/ Raul Colon

    I really hate these mom blogger mafia type of gangs that think they own the internet. When they are not seeking advertisements, free stuff, or more attention for themselves they feel free to attack everyone else.

    With the power of having influence on these platforms comes great responsibility. If you are going to use that power to hurt others you lose all respect from me.

    Anything we can do over at Papaheroes to support Serge!

    • http://8bitdad.com Bryan Ferguson

      Thanks, Raul! It definitely feels like a mafia sometimes. And I think we learned the “with great power comes great responsibility” from Obi-Wan. These “ladies” must not like Star Wars :)

      • http://twitter.com/kevinsky Kevin A

        Obi-wan… Uncle Ben… Voltaire… no wonder you never see them all at the same time! :)

    • http://mom-101.com Liz Gumbinner

      So let’s defend dads by attacking moms? That will get us somewhere! Those commenters on facebook are not “mom blogger mafia.” They’re not bloggers at all. They’re Babble readers. (Which, from the sounds of those ridiculous comments, does not say a whole lot for Babble’s readership.)

      Okay, off to go get some free stuff and more attention for myself. Bye! – Mom101

      • http://raulcolon.net/ Raul Colon

        I am placing a name on a behavior that those who have been blogging (before it was called blogging) have been around. I did not say every mom there are a few that do a good job but for the most part they end up creating circles and working in packs, tribes, or Mafia families in the attempt to conquer the online space.

  • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

    And c’mon, like I haven’t seen a ton of nude toddlers posted lovingly by their moms on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram while they bathe, run through sprinklers, or potty train? Get real, internet. Serge’s pic was hardly even explicit. It’s a great pic and a slice of America (which everyone’s ashamed of and ready to attack these days too). No predator’s looking at that pic and salivating over it. Stop this stranger-danger stuff before it destroys society.

  • http://twitter.com/ManvDadhood JB MvD

    Maybe there is a hormonal response to seeing a girl and a man together. Whatever it is, these women’s comments is scary… for them and their children.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kris.redwood Kris Redwood

    My daughter is wrapping up her potty training (fingers crossed), and she still gets proud and starts prancing around naked so she can do a celebratory dance. It’s what she wants to do, and she’s happy doing it.
    We have always had a rule that if she doesn’t want to wear clothes, it’s fine as long as we’re home. Otherwise, anywhere else, she must keep her clothes on. Ridiculous that some quality time with the kid, which many Mothers generally complain about Fathers not doing enough of, would illicit anything other than joy and delight.
    Lets remember ladies, yes she will grow into a girl that will be responsible for her own body, but how will she ever gain the strength and security to be herself if she’s constantly being covered up and made to feel bad about showing herself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/janice.croze Janice Croze

    What is funny is that I was staring and staring at the photo trying to figure out what was offensive. LOL It is a fabulous photo that has so much depth and story in it. I didn’t even notice until reading the post that they thought the child was naked. Good grief!!! Even if she were, but as her mom pointed out she was in a pull up!, children, esp toddlers, run around naked! Ay yi yi. Long ago, I gave up worry about pedophiles looking at my kids’ photos on the Internet. That is like refusing to take our kids to the playground for fear a pedophile will be watching them. What will diaper boxes have to have kids with shirts on now???

  • http://www.facebook.com/allison.wilson.927980 Allison Wilson

    I love this photo. Its an image to cherish forever because there is so much soul and love there. I think this little girl is going to grow up learning to enjoy life and appreciating natural beauty. Seriously? Does this guy look as if he would allow any pervert anywhere near his child? Why don’t you little Stepford Wives go hand your kids back to the nannies and go have another drinky-poo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ingridmoon Ingrid Moon

    I think the picture is wonderful and innocent. I also believe it should be kept private, not something for the rest of the world to see (you know, limit to close family and those who appreciate seeing what a great father he is and how happy she is). It is a sad world that a Dad can’t just have a normal family life without everyone in the world worrying about whether he and every other Dad and Man is a perv. But in some places there are laws about posting pics of naked children after a certain age (like 9 months), and those laws exist to protect the children. It’s not about the Dad, it’s about the child.