Father Loses Custody of Children Because of His Obesity

fat dad

A father in Canada officially lost custody of his kids last Wednesday, and the “big” reason was his obesity.

The unnamed 38 year old father from Ottawa lost custody of his 5 and 6 year old special needs kids for – among other factors – being 360 pounds. The Royal Ottawa Hospital’s family court ruled that the father’s weight was, according to CANOE, the “key factor,” though his past marijuana use and violent outbursts were also considered.

According to the Superior Court Justice, the father’s “weight loss regime is itself a full-time job. So is parenting two high-needs children. One will inevitably have to give ground to the other.”

The man (who isn’t named due to Canada’s Child and Family Services Act) had attended anger management because of his mutually-violent relationship with his ex-wife. According to the man, the ex-wife was the aggressor in the relationship. Still, last year, the two sons were put in foster care when the ex-wife was hospitalized for a mental breakdown and a suspected overdose.

In the meantime, the man hasn’t seen his kids in over a year, which he claims was the product of discrimination. In 2010, Children’s Aid Society was called on the mother when the younger of the children – then aged 2 – was seen running along the street at 7:3oam in only a diaper. One month before this incident, the mother’s home had caught fire. The father had shown up for a visit with the kids when he saw his ex-wife running out, leaving the man to go retrieve his children from the burning house.

The father had reported his ex-wife to CAS, but was not awarded custody. Instead, the kids were returned to the ex-wife, only then to be put into foster care later.

The judge last Wednesday, noted that the man has never, to anyone’s knowledge, hurt his children. He was even described as “loving” and “intelligent.” His home was deemed as “suitable.” And in the time that the father had been without his kids, he’d lost 150lbs.

About the father’s weight loss, the judge said (in part), “His weight loss depends on an intensive daily exercise program. Parenting responsibilities will likely make it much more difficult for him to maintain his exercise schedule. He would be a single parent to two high-needs children in circumstances where a skilled, two-parent family would be challenged to cope.” (You can read more of the statement in the Via below)

A doctor was brought in to assess the dad and concluded that the man was winded by even short distance walking around the clinic and wouldn’t be able to keep up with kids.

The father told the Ottawa Citizen, ”I was never too fat to be a dad.”

On Friday, the father staged a hunger strike on Parliament Hill, wearing a t-shirt that said “Did someone say buffet?” He brought along the La-Z-Boy chair he used to sit in while rocking his kids to sleep at night.

 

Did the court get it right? Is there a “too fat to father” limit? Do you think the media has latched onto the weight issue, but more weight was put on other factors in court? Let us know in the comments.

VIA Ottawa Citizen



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Author: Zach Rosenberg View all posts by
is married and has one son. You can also find his writing on HLN, The Good Men Project and The Huffington Post. He is an avid gamer, rides unicorns, and loves rainbows.
  • http://stay-at-homedadblunders.tumblr.com/ dadblunders

    I thing when we start judging people on their parenting skills based on weight we are headed down the wrong path.  It is hard enough in life for our children without the courts “weighing” in on obesity being a key factor in parenting. It states the father had never known to be abusive and the home was deemed to be suitable. I am unsure why the courts used obesity as the deciding factor but I will state that if that is the main reason for the continued removal of children our society is in trouble.

    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

      For sure. From what I read, it sounded like the weight issue wasn’t as simple as “you must be this thin to parent”, for what it’s worth. It sounded like he was unable to get around the clinic during the doctor’s evaluation, and that because of his workout regime (which is awesome that he was losing weight the “right” way), he would either be ignoring his weight loss or the two “special needs” kids (they never said what kind of special needs they are). Also, I guess, from one of the stories, the man was on crutches…or something. I don’t know if mobility was a real issue for him…but in the court’s eyes, if you’re a dad, you’re already at strike one. They just had to have a shadow of a doubt to give him the other two strikes.

      Now – I’m 300-and-something pounds. I’ve been up as high as 360lbs like the man in this story. But I’m at no deficit of energy or mobility. I don’t know how tall the man in the story is – but I’m 6’2″ – and my weight isn’t a giant issue. Do I get a little out of breath after running around at the park? Sure! But it doesn’t stop me from running around at the park, which is important for me and the kid.

      Anyway – bottom line – something’s not adding up in this story. And like you said, if we start setting a BMI for acceptable parenting, we’re headed down a dangerous path – possibly more dangerous than the obesity itself!

      • http://stay-at-homedadblunders.tumblr.com/ dadblunders

        I have a degree in social work and was a former child abuse investigator (before I became a stay-at-home dad) and can say I have seen the courts do a lot of “odd” things but these literally took my breath away. Since it never states what the special needs of the children are I wonder if the judge is making a judgement call but doesn’t want to state in the court documents.

        A judge has a lot of leeway to make decisions.  It is supposed to be based on evidence alone and then they make the final judgement but from what I have seen this isn’t always the case. I am not saying this happened but its possible. It’s not even out of the realm of possibility that the judge just didn’t like the man. 

        When I was in court and had to testify I always hated that you felt their was something you might not say or say incorrectly and the judge would remember that.  In my opinion, it is often what we don’t do or do incorrectly that makes the final impression on a judge. I just wonder, like you, what about this story isn’t making the news.

        • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

          The dad in the story did say he thought the CAS was biased against him because he’s a father. The mom had significant evidence against her and CAS didn’t then put the kids with their dad – they put them in foster care. And if there’s someone that’s worse than judges, it’s CPS and CAS. They’re bound by rules and precedent and corporate policy that toes the line of being discriminatory based on their “studies”.

          Thanks for reading! You’ve got an interesting background that we’d love to hear about in the comments of a lot of our articles!

          • http://stay-at-homedadblunders.tumblr.com/ dadblunders

            Thanks a lot Zach I appreciate that! I have been following 8BitDad for a little while now and have been known to re-tweet your articles more than once! I even follow you on the RSS feed and try to check it daily.  I started out with a tumblr blog (which I still have) but recently decided I wanted to be able to control my content a little better so I got my own URL. I enjoy writing about the more humorous things in life and how they affect me and my family (although I do have my TMI Tuesday that is more about the serious side of my life)

            I look forward to commenting on more of your articles and your feedback.

            Aaron

          • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

            Awesome – thanks Aaron!