PQotW for Apr. 11, 2012
PQotW: How Early Is Too Early for Serious Religion & Kids?
by | April 11, 2012 at 2:28 a.m.

This week’s Podcast Question of the Week is about religion:

How early is too early for serious religion and kids?

With Easter and Passover behind us, we can go back to months of not-talking-about religion. But one couple is talking about religion more than us: the Jarrell family of Tennessee.

As the story goes, Blake and Lauren Jarrell are divorced. Both are Christian, but Blake’s a Methodist and Lauren’s a Presbyterian.

Blake wanted their two children – aged 5 and 7 – to be baptized when they were old enough to understand the significance of the ceremony. Lauren done goofed and had them baptized. So, Blake took her to court. Now, Lauren faces 20 days jailtime and a fine of $100.

So how early is too early for kids to be introduced to religion? Is it too early to baptize a baby? Is it too early to put a child in religious school before they can understand what religion is? Do people need to wait until a child can essentially make the decision to be a part of a religion?

And what about, as in the Jarrell family’s predicament, when parents are divorced before kids are religious?

We want to know! Leave your answer in the comments here and we’ll read some of your answers on our podcast! Be sure to watch on Tuesday, 4/17.

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Author: Zach Rosenberg View all posts by
is married and has one son. You can also find his writing on HLN, The Good Men Project and The Huffington Post. He is an avid gamer, rides unicorns, and loves rainbows.
  • http://profiles.google.com/mr.aion Justin Aion

    All 
    children are born as atheists.  It takes an adult to teach them that there is a man in the sky who watches them all the time for them to have a 
    concept of a higher power.

    I think the age that you expose your kids to religion is based entirely on what you see as the purpose.  If you want them to believe that they are always being watched by someone who will ultimately judge them for their actions, then it should be right around the time they understand the difference between right and wrong.

    If you are using religion as a way out for difficult questions like “where did grandma go” or “why do bad things happen to good people” or “why is the sky blue” then you start as soon as they ask those questions.

    I’m a cynic and a heathen, so I think any time is too early to expose children to religion.  If they are going to be religious, it should be something they come to on their own, not drilled into them when they are too young to know that fantasy creatures like unicorn, elves and angels don’t actually exist.

    • LizzieSavage

      But unicorn, elves and angels DO exist! I may be 31 years old, but I still believe in Santa too! My mom taught me “if you believe you receive” and every year I get presents :)

      • http://profiles.google.com/mr.aion Justin Aion

        I believe in money.  Still waiting to receive!

        • Lizziesavage

          To be honest, I prayed for “comfort” and have been given money in different forms over the years (HUGE tax return this year, new job last year, random residual checks when I REALLY needed them, etc). I’d LOVE a big lottery win, but I don’t think that’s how God works ;) You may call it coincidence, but I believe it was answers to prayers

          • http://profiles.google.com/mr.aion Justin Aion

            You are absolutely correct.  I would call coincidence

          • http://twitter.com/thesuperungnome Remy Stevensen

            “Law of Large Numbers”???

    • Vissirion

       I respectfully disagree with your statement that all children are born atheist.  If that were true, wouldn’t it make sense that more primitive people groups would be atheist?  I mean, I’m no sociologist, but to me that would just make sense. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/mr.aion Justin Aion

        I see your point, but you’re missing something vital.  Primative groups believed in some sort of higher power out of a need to explain what they didn’t understand, such as lightening, rain, etc.   Kids don’t really worry about those things.  It takes until they get to be toddlers until they start asking why things happen, at which point, we tell them if we know the answers and, if we don’t, we say “The Gods want it that way.”

        Even in primative groups, there was an elder who explained the unknown by using this tactic, which is another reason why the various concepts of “God” differ depending on where you are in the world.  Different things needed to be explained…

  • Lizziesavage

    I began praying with my kids when they were in utero. I am Catholic, I was raised Catholic but I spent many years researching different religions. I chose this religion after research and prayer as an adult, and I will raise my children the same way. I like the way the church recommends teaching children: baptized at birth (just in case) and to welcome them into a community where we have a common faith; First Holy Communion around 8 years old when the kids understand the role of God in our lives and are able to question whether or not they believe, can understand biblical teachings and the role of Jesus in our faith; then the sacrament of Confirmation as a teenagers, when they confirm that this is the religious path they wish to follow.

    My boys began asking me religious questions when they were VERY young and I always answer them the same way: I tell them what I believe to be true and that they should think/pray/meditate on their question and choose what they feel deep-down is correct. At 5 and 8 years old, my boys have so far chosen to follow the Catholic beliefs even though they do have other influences in their lives (their father is Lutheran, some of my siblings are Agnostic, science, friends of different religions, etc). I know that I am their main influence and my beliefs will be predominant for their formative years… But I am VERY happy to know that they have faith that the Lord will always help them through hard times, they believe in Heaven after death and the all-loving all-forgiving Lord will allow all good people in (they know of hell as well, but not as a scare tactic to behave). We had many deaths in our family in a short period of time 3 years ago, and both of my boys were confident that they will see those people again in Heaven, and death is a time to mourn but not despair. They also pray to those who have passed away and it comforts them. I can go on and on and on about how many times religion has helped my boys and me, and that I can read them the Bible for answers as easily as I read them a science book for answers as well.

    Basically, I gave them a foundation for faith but mainly to show them Jesus’ teaching which were always about Love, forgiveness, etc etc which are traits that EVERYONE needs to work on every day. What they actually choose to believe is up to them and I will support their choice.

  • Heather

    I think any time is a good time to introduce religion.  It doesn’t have to be “organized” religion but, as a believer myself, I think they should know there is a Creator God who created them for a reason and that they are loved by this Creator.  Yes, teaching about God does give you as a parent a go-to for questions about why things happen (why does it rain, why is the sky blue, why do people/pets die) but, even more, we should all know that there is a God that loves us no matter what and who will forgive us anything if we only ask.  We absolutely had our children baptized (I’m Catholic, if you want to know) and I teach them about God and how God works in our lives.

  • Sarahzim

    We have been struggling a lot with this over the past few weeks.  We are not religious – both raised some form of protestant but non practicing – but my parenst are extremely active in their church and take Hailyn as much as they can.  She LOVES it.    She gets so excited about going and comes home telling stories and asking questions about what she learned.  That’s where it gets tricky.   We want to answer her questions according the faith she has or is being taught but don’t know the answers.   Lately we’ve taken to looking them up in the bible and discussing them with her.   She really enjoys, and believes, as much as a 4 year old can, and I really felt like she’d do well at a Christian school. 

    Next opportunity:  my parents generally offer to pay for her to attend one of the best private christian schools around.     Problem:   School has a requirement that at least one parent have an active relationsihp with Christ.    Now, just because I’m a not a christian, I follow most of the Bible’s moral and ethical teachings.   Even thoughI could have lied, convincingly, I contact the school and told them the truth; that she does have a religious influence and does have grandparents to guide her spiritiually.   THey wrote back that they had no exceptions to the rule and suggested to some schools that would accept “non-christians” that are just waay too far away.  I appreciate that as a private school, they get to select te typese ofpeople they admit, but it’s hard for this mama to stomach that my daughter is missing out on an opportunity for excellent academic and spiritual educstion because of something that I don’t believe.  Evevn harder becase I wan tto believe and don’t and was perfectly willling to teach and discuss with just like any christian parent.    It would have ben the best choice for us; unfortunately they made it for us.

    • http://profiles.google.com/mr.aion Justin Aion

      The sort of acceptance and love seems right in line with the teaching of Jesus.

    • LizzieSavage

      As a Christian I would think having a child in the school with non-practicing parents would be a GOOD thing! They could reach out to the child at an impressionable age and begin the discussions about faith, which in turn could reach the entire family! The religious material learned in school, through homework and research would sort-of FORCE the family to see/read/learn about Christ in many different contexts. So sad that they’re so close-minded. I hope you continue with religious education, if you feel your child will truly benefit from it (my boys attend public school, and then religious ed after school once a week)

  • apiesangel

    @ sarahzim – As a Christian I have a problem with this school’s requirement. It is clearly obvious that God is working with you through your child and to refuse the child an opportunity to learn more about Christ, which will pass onto the others in the family is just absurd. All I can say is that while on paper this school looks like it would be the best for your child, it seems to me that it may actually be in your best interest that your daughter didn’t get in. I mean do you really want her around people who do not embrace non-believers with love and acceptance?

  • http://twitter.com/thesuperungnome Remy Stevensen

    It is my humble opinion that if you yourself can’t live up to the morals and standards of your own “religion” or “spirituality” you shouldn’t subject your children to them.  I think that if you can’t take things seriously about “YOUR” faith how can you possibly believe that you can subject some one else to that belief? I’m not saying hide your faith from them, just be a good example.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nicholaus.noles Nicholaus Noles

    Ok, so this comment is super late to the party, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway. I think that Justin’s comment that children are born atheists is probably moving down the wrong track. Kids are born ignorant of religion, but they are uniquely prepared to become religious. Human beings, including kids, are causality detection machines. If I honk my horn right before a red light turns green, I get a sensation of causality – I feel like my honking made the light change, even if I know in my scientific brain that it was on a timer. Similarly, people see structure where there is none. The face of Jesus in toast; a cloud shaped like a dragon; shrubbery that looks suspiciously like a penis. It is human nature to detect structure in even the most random event. In fact, this fact is largely cited as the original source of religion. For example, if something seems orderly but there is no obvious cause, then there must be an agent – God – who is responsible. Of course, this speak to the fact or fiction of God and religion, but it’s interesting to consider.