8BD Blog Entry
Morning Wood: Fatherhood’s Most Awkward Topic
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I love being a father. There are so many life-changing things that go along with fatherhood – and so many incredible comforts that come from having that little beast in my life. But you also know that being a father means life changes and discomforts too – fatherhood would be too perfect if it were all about being proud and comfortable all the time.

There are a lot of awkward uncertainties I face in fatherhood: How do I provide for my family? How do I teach my son all of the right lessons in life? How do I protect my son from danger?

And how, I’ve got to ask, am I supposed to snuggle with my kid when I wake up with morning wood?

This is a serious question. It’s the least popular and most awkward topic of fatherhood, and one that every single father in the world thinks about.

Morning Wood has a real name – nocturnal penile tumescence – and unless you’ve got erectile dysfunction, it actually happens multiple times during the night and early morning. Scientists aren’t really sure why it happens, but it does, and these non-sexual boners happen daily if you’re a normal, healthy dude.

I am, by most measures, a normal, healthy dude. And I don’t think it’s TMI for me to say that I wake up every day absolutely stacked. Like, I mean, there’s no hiding it.

So, when my son wakes up in the morning and runs into our room to snuggle with us, I just don’t know what to do. I love snuggling with my wife and son, and nothing starts a Saturday off better than putting your kid between you and your wife (or hey, whatever partner you fancy) and hugging it out.

But again, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this comfortably when I’ve got a raging erection.

On one hand, my son is a boy, and has his own pickle. He gets erections, and acknowledges them. In one of the more hilarious moments of fatherhood, my son, still two years old, announced to a room full of people on our family camping trip that his “weenie is up.” And because of the laughter that erupted from it, he then moved person to person and reminded them.

So, it’s possible that I can just snuggle with him as I please and assume that if I don’t make a point to mention it, he won’t either. On one occasion, he did actually grab for it, but I think only because he wasn’t sure what was under the sheet and thought I was hiding one of his toys in our bed. Sorry kid, that’s actually – ahem – momma’s toy.

On the other hand, I can try to talk to him. But, he’s three. Inevitably, anything I say will be too complicated. He doesn’t know biology, and isn’t particularly ashamed of his parts yet. And though we’ve had the “those are privates” conversation, it doesn’t go much further than that.

What I do – I either put a pillow over my junk, or I roll onto my stomach and position my hips so my leg is in the way of my unit. This also helps with getting kicked in the onions, which any father can tell you, is not the way you want to start a day.

So tomorrow morning, when my son runs in the room and snuggles up to me, I’ve got to find it in myself to not focus on the terrible madness in my pants. Besides, it might actually help make the monster erection go away to just think of something else: my family, all the love we have, and how my family accepts me no matter how I present myself.

Here’s to nocturnal penile tumescence for reminding me that in all the amazing comforts of fatherhood, your kids can illustrate just how embarrassed you can get about your own biology.

8



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Author: Zach Rosenberg View all posts by
is married and has one son. You can also find his writing on HLN, The Good Men Project and The Huffington Post. He is an avid gamer, rides unicorns, and loves rainbows.
  • Cedric Satterfield

    Great column. Im still laughing as I type this. My wife and I have a queen size bed because we co-slept with all our kids at one point or another until they got older and out grew it, but my youngest is three and she still piles into bed with us at 3am regularly. It’s definitely an issue. Thanks for sharing. 

    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

       Damn, only a queen? My wife and I have an eastern king – the WIIIIIIDE one! we like feeling like we’re in separate states when we sleep. Plus, gives the little bugger room when he jumps in bed in the morning.

      Thanks for reading!

  • http://twitter.com/WannabeSAHDad WannabeStayatHomeDad

    You are so right that this is the most awkward topic for dads.  It’s definitely a very common issue. There was one morning when I had no choice but to get out of bed in the buff with morning wood after my 6 year old son came in to hang out.  I warned him before I did and later explained that it happens to all boys/men when we have to go pee in the morning.  Nothing cures awkwardness than to blame it on biology! 

    • http://www.8bitdad.com Zach Rosenberg

       I have no idea what I’ll say when the time’s right, but I hope the time’s not right for YEARS :)

  • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

    Sorry, I’m lost. What is “morning wood?” Bad breathe?

  • @lukerushly

    With three daughters, this situation becomes all the more awkward! Especially because my 7yo likes to snuggle by laying on top of me. So I have to risk wounded her heart to tell her that I don’t want her to lay like that or have the awkward conversation when she asks “what is that?”. I don’t have a solution to the situation but I can certainly commiserate! Hysterical post!

  • http://twitter.com/stuffboysdo stuffboysdo.com

    Oh wow.  Thanks for writing this.  (Cause there’s no way I was gonna tackle it!)  LOL  You have broached the subject for dads everywhere, gallant sir, and for that we are indebted to you.  :)

  • http://twitter.com/RacistHomophobe The Racist Homophobe

    Haven’t had too much of a problem when snuggling. I just arch away.  When the kids were younger and did ask about what that was in daddy’s underwear I would just say it’s part of daddy’s body (or just “my body”).  I did get up one morning and looked out the window with my wife at the beautiful day.  My daughter who I thought was still too young to notice walked up and asked my wife “mommy, is daddy’s body looking out the window too?”