Archive:  September, 2011

Italian Kid Loves Zeppelin
Movie(s) Available!

I haven’t posted in a while, but this is what being a dad is all about right here.

Rock on little dude.

YouTube

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All FPS gamers have been there – you’re playing online and having a terrible set of matches. You can’t hit anything. You’re getting killed over and over by some punk who knows he’s the best. And god forbid you’ve got to also deal with the s**t-talking that goes on with online gaming. It gets bad. The cloak of anonymity makes normal people into jerks – and when one of these guys starts popping off calling you every name in the book (you know, Rand McNally’s “Book of Insulting Names”), you hit rage-level quick.

One guy in England was having a day like this – but instead of muting his adversary, he went the extra mile. Literally. Mark Bradford, a 46 year old unemployed father of three went a couple miles actually. Bradford was playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on his PlayStation 3 console, and playing online with a s**t-talking 13 year old. Bradford (somehow) found the minor’s address, drove to his nearby house, and choked him out. Bradford was stopped by the boy’s mother, who pulled Bradford off her son.

So, on one hand, Bradford is totally lame for assaulting a kid over a video game. He’s a father. I mean, for crying out loud, he’s a father. If he’s so quick to hunt down a person he met in a casual online game, you wonder what kind of violence he’s capable of with his own kids.

On the other hand, 13 year olds shouldn’t be playing any Call of Duty franchise game (it’s rated “Mature” in the US and “PEGI-18” in the UK). So – though my opinion of lameness would stand for Bradford if he assaulted an adult over a video game, I certainly think that the boy’s mother should be somehow reprimanded for letting her kid play a PEGI-18 game. Honestly, I just want to keep saying PEGI-18.

I mean, I’m not trying to say this is the boy’s fault at all – but hey man, you play an adult game, there’s adult consequences. Kidding. Probably.

BTW, Bradford admitted to one count of assault and he lost 5,000 XP overall.

Daily Mail

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Two stories about fathers hit the ice today – one from the Montreal Gazette and one from Advocate. Both articles are about fathers asking for the sport of hockey to be more accepting of minorities in the sport – and punishing those that refuse to embrace the sport’s growing diversity.

But wait, this all gets weird, and all on account of the above-pictured Wayne Simmonds.

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Actor Mike Myers Becomes Father at 47

E! reports that 47 year old actor Mike Myers, who you might have seen and heard all over movies for 20 years or so, fathered a child with wife Kelly Tisdale. The baby, whose name is Spike, was born two weeks ago, though the news emerged late yesterday due to the couple’s privacy wishes.

Also, I intentionally avoided “mini me” jokes and opted for a “Wayne’s World” header.

E! Online

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Think your kid’s going to give you a heart attack? Well, that might be true, but you probably won’t die from it. Your kids, on the other hand, might make your single-no-kid friend croak.

Time reports that researchers from Stanford University School of Medicine found, among other things, that “childless men had a 17%…increased risk of death from cardiovascular disease…and this elevated risk appeared to extend also to men with only one child.” Whoops, guess just having one kid won’t help you either.

The A-Team of researchers included Michael L. Eisenberg, Yikyung Park, Albert R. Hollenbeck, Larry I. Lipshultz, Arthur Schatzkin, and Mark J. Pletcher. You don’t need to know all of those names, but we wanted to make sure you could re-adjust your fantasy medical researcher team accordingly.

Researchers admit that they didn’t account for other lifestyle and health factors including cholesterol, blood pressure, or even simple social things like having family pets and friends.

If you want to read more or track your fantasy team, check the sauce for the deets.

BTW, the study was published in the Oxford Journal of Human Reproduction. For bonus points, find the Oxford comma in this post.

Time

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Fathers & Families reports that Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick signed a bill to reform alimony in the state,which used to require most men to pay “lifelong” alimony. It will also help women with short-term alimony that were not able in the past to collect it.

F&F Board Chairman Ned Holstein, MD, MS says that there’s still work to do: “The next step is to rid the alimony issue of gender bias — the idea that only men should pay it and only women should receive it. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in two-earner couples today, women out-earn men in about 33% of couples. Yet women are alimony payers in only 4% of cases. We need an even-handed approach.”

If you want to read about what else the bill did, check out F&F below.

Fathers & Families

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If you’re the charitable type, you can help father-and-epic-strategist Robert Bowling raise money for sick kids (cough sick, not snowboard trick sick) at Extra Life.

So – what’s up? On October 15, Bowling will be playing games for 24 straight hours, and hopes you’ll donate a buck an hour in support. Bowling will personally match every donation he earns on his donation page (sauced below). The donation is tax-deductible.

Extra Life raises money for the Children’s Miracle Network Hospital – and when you participate in the gaming donor-drives (as the gamer), you get to choose which CMN Hospital your donations go to. Rad!

Robert Bowling, FYI, is the Creative Strategist for the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare franchise, and did the “Gamer Geek Dad” podcast with Len Peralta. Read more about it all at the link below.

Extra Life

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Drew Magary’s First Night

Drew Magary is the everyman. We bring our baby home and we’re terrified, and moreover, pissed off. Life just turned upside down on account of that little crapbag, and s/he won’t even sleep. Here’s a couple of minutes in Magary’s words:

11:03 – Baby makes a slight cough. Possibly pneumonia. As long as she’s quiet about it, that’s fine with me.
11:06 – Baby again makes little tiny noises. She’s gonna cry again. Vow to self to never put penis in anything ever again.
11:08 – Baby, miraculously, stops making noises.
11:09 – Maybe because baby is dead.
11:10 – Check on baby. Is not dead. I will not be going to jail. Run back to bed.

The rest of the list will make you LOL – or if nothing else, appreciate sleep a lot more.

Read Magary’s “Hell, or a Father’s First Night With His Baby” at the sauce.

Good Men Project

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