You’d think this is one of those unwritten rules of Father’s Day, but evidently, we need to write it:
Do not buy your father Heelys for Father’s Day.
I mean, we’re talkin’ about shoes with wheels in them. Think about your dad. Now, think about your dad with a broken tailbone. Bleeding out of his anus. I don’t know if that’s what happens when you break your tailbone, but I can imagine bloody anus is somewhere in the symptom list.
If you don’t want to be changing your dad’s bedpan for the week after Father’s Day, stay away from Heelys, no matter how cool the below press release makes it sound.
I would, however, love a pair for myself if anyone’s got some size 13W they’re not using.