Green dudes over at Inhabitots cover the next chapter in the cell phone/cancer debate, with a mention of a new book out, awkwardly and lengthily-titled “Disconnect: The Truth About Cell Phone Radiation, What the Industry Has Done to Hide It, and How to Protect Your Family.” In DTTACPRWTIHDTHIAHTPYF (yeah, like I was going to type that title again), Dr. Devra Davis talks about – you guessed it – cell phone radiation and evidently the reasons why when we report on cool apps for your child, we’re knowingly and maliciously giving your kid cancer. Oops…sorry.

There’s an old parable about a fox, a lantern and a 200 year old oak tree. I’m not all that sure how it goes, but it ends up that the moral of the story is that the fox gets burned by the lantern. Laughs ensue.

In other news, Dollar Tree had a recall on little janky halloween lanterns. See their official release after the break.

If you’re 30-ish and had even a base-level interest in basketball in the early 90′s, you probably, like me, spent a lot of time screaming at the top of your lungs 1 inch from your friend’s face after dunking on him in NBA Jam Tournament Edition. Good news for you and your sports aggression – NBA Jam is back, and although you’ve grown up, the game hasn’t…and that’s a good thing.

A great thing, actually, as NBA Jam on the Wii serves as a great game for you and your budding basketball fan to play together. It’s a – dare I say – “charming” mix of the old school Jam you loved, with a couple new things to keep your youngin engaged when you’re not there screaming “BOOMSHAKALAKA” 1 inch from his face.

Inhabitots posted a link today that’s right up our alley. For dads emerging from their skateboard years: Board Games, a company owned by Portland, Oregon resident Jason Greene, recycles old skateboards into chairs, stools and toys for kids. They even use griptape for sandpaper. Sweet!

So while you and your little dude play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater XIV, you can reminisce about the days when his chair was your only form of transportation.

Funny enough, the chair pictured above reminds me of the seats they had in the late 80′s LAUSD classrooms if you were to screw on some metal legs. Anyone feel me on that?

Sauce: Etsy

Remember when we were kids, and our parents only had wackos and molesters to worry about while they checked our Halloween candy?

Well, it turns out that candy manufacturers themselves have been slipping extra doses of ingredients like…LEAD into Halloween candy, amongst other things like peanuts in candy that isn’t supposed to have peanuts, or “foreign particles and metals.” WTF, shrapnel? Seriously?

Purebebe.com has consolidated a list of six candy companies that are recalling their products before Halloween. You can see the full list of products and lot numbers after the jump, but after the candy gets broken down to fun-size handouts, you’re probably not going to be able to tell which batch or lot number your kiddo’s RAISINETS came from.

It is probably best just to pitch anything mentioned in the post, but do it where the tyke doesn’t have to see it, okay? Doing it in front of them is just messed up.

I’ve sat and thought about how to spin this story about how a fathers’ eating can genetically effect his daughter’s weight and health. But there’s kind of no “funny” way to do it. I’m usually able to put some sort of humorous angle on things, but hey, I’m only human.

So, that’s it for me on this post. You’d think a post about genetics and glucose would be an interesting read. It’s kind of not. Good luck.

I’m not the biggest television viewer (weight jokes aside), but I’ve been noticing a trend for years about the representation of television fathers. And guys, it’s not good. Even in my youth, I remember seeing negative paternal role models on television. I wanted to analyze some of the past and present television fathers. Most notably the bad ones, since that’s what stood out to me, even when I was a child.

Since I know I’m already losing your attention, I’ll say this right off the bat – Bill Cosby played an idiot. And even though the black community was enamoured with The Cosby Show, Bill Cosby really didn’t do any favors for fathers of the world.